Chanel Nicole Scott, widely known as the "Queen of Relationship Talk," is an influential voice in the world of love and relationships. As a renowned television host, relationship expert, and author, Chanel’s candid, unapologetic conversations on her platforms—CheMinistry and the Relationships Matter Podcast—have inspired and empowered thousands to engage in open, healing dialogues. From offering raw insights on healthy relationships to providing tools for overcoming trauma, Chanel is a beacon of support for individuals navigating the complexities of love. We sat down with her to discuss her journey, the importance of transparency in relationships, and how we can all foster stronger, healthier connections.
Photography by Will Sterling @sterlingpics
Words by Angel Neal @angel_stylistbehavior
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Scott's platforms, CheMinistry and the Relationships Matter Podcast, are known for raw, unfiltered discussions that resonate with men and women alike. Through these outlets, Chanel guides individuals through the emotional complexity of relationships, helping them to break free from toxic patterns and cultivate healthier bonds.
In this exclusive interview, we dive deep into Chanel’s personal journey, her approach to relationship counseling, and her thoughts on some of the most pressing issues facing couples today.
You’ve built an incredible platform around transparency and vulnerability. What inspired you to start this journey into relationship advice?
Chanel: It really came from my own struggle to maintain a healthy relationship. I had a lot of personal experiences where I just couldn’t get it right, and I knew I wasn’t the only one. I wanted to create a space where both men and women could have open, candid conversations about the relational challenges we face. That’s how CheMinistry was born. It was all about creating a space to talk through the pain, the struggles, the misunderstandings, and all of it—without judgment.
That’s so powerful. Vulnerability is clearly something you emphasize. In your experience, what role does transparency play in fostering healthy relationships?
Chanel: Transparency is everything. If you can’t be transparent and vulnerable with your partner, then they’re not your person. I always tell people to vet their partners before diving into a serious commitment. We often rush into relationships without truly getting to know someone—without asking the important questions, without seeing who they are when they’re not on their best behavior. I was guilty of this in my younger years—making decisions based on chemistry or physical attraction, rather than character. But I’ve learned, the physical attraction fades, and what’s left is the character. If the character isn’t there, you’re stuck. So, ask those tough questions, dig deeper. Don’t settle for less than what you truly deserve.
And it’s clear that your approach is working. You’ve said that you’re very transparent about your experiences, but what does that vulnerability look like when you’re guiding others?
Chanel: Well, when I speak on certain topics, they’re ones I can personally relate to. I’ll never talk about something I haven’t worked through myself. I think it’s important for people to see that I’m not perfect. I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else. And when you’re willing to share, when you show your scars and let people in, it invites others to do the same. I’ve had people come into my sessions saying they don’t want to talk, but as soon as they see others opening up, they feel safe enough to share their own stories. It’s all about creating that trust and community where vulnerability is welcomed.
That’s a powerful environment. But how do you create that level of safety for your guests and participants to share?
Chanel: Communication is key. If you’re not transparent and vulnerable with your partner, they’re not your person. We need to do the work before we commit to someone, really vetting them to ensure that we’re building a healthy foundation. So often, we rush into relationships without asking the hard questions, or we settle for what feels good in the moment. But the honeymoon phase fades, and what’s left? Real life. If you don’t know who you are and what you stand for, it’s easy to lose yourself in someone else. You’ve got to ask the tough questions—are we aligned in our values, our vision? That’s the kind of clarity we need before diving in.
It sounds like you’ve learned the hard way, but what advice do you have for someone who’s already in a relationship and feels stuck or unsure?
Chanel: Honestly, self-love is key. You have to know who you are and what you bring to the table before entering any relationship. And once you're in one, never lose sight of that. Too many people—men and women alike—end up in toxic situations because they attach their worth to someone else, believing that person adds value to their life. But no one can give you the value that you don’t already give yourself. Take the time to really get to know yourself, tap into your purpose. Relationships should complement your life, not define it. If you know who you are and what you’re about, then even when you’re faced with disappointment, you won’t fall apart. If you’re not content with yourself, no relationship will make you whole. That’s why it’s so important to find purpose and fulfillment in your own life first. When you know who you are, you don’t need validation from anyone else. You can navigate any disappointment with grace, knowing that your worth isn’t defined by someone else’s actions.
Speaking of tough situations, October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month. What do you think is crucial for raising awareness about domestic violence?
Chanel: First and foremost, we have to start with self-love. If we really loved ourselves, we would never tolerate abuse. I always ask people, “Do you love yourself?” Most people instinctively say yes, but they don’t really understand what that means. The way you gauge that is by how you allow others to treat you. If you’re letting someone mistreat you, then that’s a clear sign that something’s off. In abusive situations, it’s often about attaching your value to someone else, and that’s where people get stuck. If we had more self-love and self-awareness, we wouldn’t let ourselves stay in these toxic relationships. We’d walk away before things got to that point.
In light of recent high-profile cases, such as Diddy and Cassie, how can society better support victims of domestic abuse?
Chanel: One thing we can do is stop being so insensitive. People are quick to judge when they see someone in a toxic relationship, but we’ve all been through heartbreak in one form or another. We have to approach these situations with empathy, not criticism. When someone’s going through abuse, they don’t feel safe speaking out because society tends to dehumanize them, treating it like entertainment. The truth is, Cassie, like many others, stayed in that situation because she believed this man could offer her something she couldn’t achieve on her own. She attached her value to him instead of to herself, and that led to years of suffering. We need to support victims by listening, offering empathy, and making sure they know they are worthy of better. But, honestly, a lot of people won’t leave until they’re truly fed up. It’s a hard truth, but it’s reality. And when they are ready, we need to be there with open arms.
What’s one piece of advice you would give to someone who is struggling with self-worth or feeling lost in their relationships?
Chanel: Know your value. You are enough. You are worthy of love, respect, and everything good life has to offer. But that starts with loving yourself first. Don't let anyone treat you less than what you’re worth. You have to set boundaries and walk away from situations that don't serve you. When you truly know who you are, you won't settle for anything less than what you deserve. And trust me, once you get to that place, you won’t ever go back.
The holiday season is often synonymous with social gatherings, romantic hopefulness, and moments of reflection. But for singles, it can sometimes bring feelings of isolation or even pressure to find love. As the holidays approach, many singles feel the weight of expectations—whether it's about meeting someone new or struggling with feelings of loneliness. Chanel introduces the term "Holiday In" as a way for singles to shift their mindset and make the most of the season.
“The holiday season tends to amplify people’s desires for companionship,” she says. “There’s this social expectation to be merry and find love. But rather than focusing on the pressure of meeting someone, I suggest embracing the Holiday In—a season of focusing inward, of creating a comfortable, fulfilling environment for yourself.”
She explains that singles can transform their mindset by making their personal space a sanctuary. “It’s about creating a space where you feel at peace and enjoy being alone. For me, that means having games, hobbies, and activities I love doing—things that make me feel good about being with myself.” She adds, “If you’re not at peace with being single, the holiday season will only intensify that discomfort. So, it’s essential to make your home a place of comfort and joy, where you can feel fulfilled even when you're alone. At the same time, don’t be afraid to socialize. Attend events and network—just make sure you’re doing things that genuinely interest you.”
Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships During the Holidays
For couples, the holiday season can bring its own set of challenges. One major red flag to be aware of, according toChanel is the potential for “love bombing.”
“During the holidays, it’s easy to get swept up in the festive atmosphere and shower someone with grand gestures—gifts, compliments, or attention that feels too good to be true,” she explains. “While it might feel nice, love bombing can be manipulative. People often try to win you over quickly with over-the-top gestures in an attempt to gain control.”
Her advice is simple: stay grounded and maintain healthy boundaries. “Accept the gifts and gestures, but don’t let them blind you to the need to really know the person. It’s important to see someone in all their moods—happy, sad, angry—so you know who they truly are, beyond the honeymoon phase.”
She emphasizes, “Don’t let the excitement of the holidays cloud your judgment. Take your time. Relationships require patience and understanding, and it’s okay to go slow.”
For those looking to deepen their relationships, Chanel advocates using tools that foster meaningful conversations. She shares her passion for the “Relationships Matter” card game, a two-deck system that helps individuals and couples explore both past trauma and present dynamics. “I love the ‘Navigating Past Pain and Trauma’ deck for new couples,” she says. “It’s a powerful tool to get beyond the surface and really understand each other. It disarms people and creates a safe space for sharing vulnerable stories, so partners can better support each other.”
The second deck, which focuses on sex and relationship dynamics, helps couples discuss intimacy and desires without judgment. “It’s a great way to gauge compatibility and have honest conversations about expectations—something every couple should do before taking the next step, whether that’s in dating or marriage.” By using these decks, Chanel believes couples can avoid misunderstandings and build a stronger foundation. “Understanding how your partner processes past experiences or views intimacy is key to a healthy relationship. These cards are designed to help you learn more about each other and establish open communication.”
Shifting Focus: Purpose Over Pressure
One of the most powerful messages that Chanel imparts is the importance of focusing on purpose over pressure.
“Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you should always prioritize purpose,” she asserts. “As a single woman, it’s easy to get caught up in the loneliness, especially around the holidays, but I’ve learned that when you’re focused on your calling—whether it’s your career, personal growth, or creativity—you attract the right energy and the right people.”
She offers a personal perspective, having gone through many seasons of waiting and questioning, especially in her 30s and 40s. “In my 30s, I used to get frustrated because I didn’t have what others had—a husband, children, a family. But as I’ve grown older, I realized that it’s not about following a script—it’s about finding your own path, living with integrity, and doing what you were uniquely created to do.” For Scott, this journey has been deeply intertwined with her faith. “As I’ve focused more on purpose, I’ve seen how God has shaped my life and opened opportunities for me. Even though I’m single, I’ve found peace in knowing that I’m walking my path, doing what I’m meant to do.” She adds, “Trust me, when you focus on your purpose, the right people will find you, and the right opportunities will come. You don’t need to chase them.”
Chanel Nicole Scott’s wisdom is a reminder that building healthy relationships starts with self-love, transparency, and the willingness to do the inner work. Her message is clear: true love can only thrive when we first nurture the relationship we have with ourselves.
To dive deeper into Chanel’s insights on relationships, check out her CheMinistry and Relationships Matter Podcastplatforms, where she continues to lead impactful conversations that foster healing and growth.
Follow Chanel @chanelnicolescott & @cheministrylive .
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